
Sue: My uncle is an umpire in a restaurant.
Lou: In a restaurant?
Sue: Yes. When someone orders pancakes, he yells, “Batter up!”
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, 'That's mine!'
3. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
4. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, 'Got enough air in there?'
5. When the doors close, announce to the others, 'It's okay, don't panic, they open again!'
6. Tell people that you can see their aura.

