Depp-inspired quotes and words of encouragement
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Chocolat
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by Chocolat » Wed Jan 13, 2021 1:42 am
On a fishing trip to a remote lake in Northern Quebec, I asked the outfitter,
“Do you stay here during the winter?”
“No,” he said. “The snow gets too deep. We can’t get supplies in. Like many Canadians,
I go south for the winter.”
“Oh,” I said. “Where do you go?”
“Vermont.”
I’m driving with this guy, and he runs right through a Stop sign. So I say,
“Hey, that was a Stop sign.”
And he says, “I drive like my brother!”
A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light.
I say, “You just ran a red light.”
And he says, “I drive like my brother!”
So now we’re coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I’m confused,
so I say, “It’s green; why are you slowing down?”
He says, “My brother might be coming.”

Have a fun day!
~ MAGICK HAPPENS ~
Through the years, for the many xoxo's, giggles & kindness...
thank you & love you Johnny.
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Joni
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by Joni » Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:40 am
Lucille decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them."
'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows.."
"Well, we have them, and you could have."
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00"
"That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't!"
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

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Chocolat
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by Chocolat » Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:14 am
Joni, good one!

~ MAGICK HAPPENS ~
Through the years, for the many xoxo's, giggles & kindness...
thank you & love you Johnny.
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mytreasure
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by mytreasure » Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:00 am
Teens don't know how good they have it with lyric sites. We used to sing stuff wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.
The best thing about being over 40 is that we did all our stupid stuff before the invention of the internet....so there's no proof.
I keep hearing people talk about what they're going to do when they retire.
I'm gonna have to work right up to lunch on the day of my funeral.
Have a great day!
*Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.*
~Dearest Captain Jack, May your compass always lead you back to us...~
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Joni
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by Joni » Wed Jan 13, 2021 1:29 pm
mytreasure wrote: ↑Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:00 am
Teens don't know how good they have it with lyric sites. We used to sing stuff wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.
Very true, mytreasure! I heard my cousin, about 10 years ago, singing the Beatles song "Hey, Buffalo Bill" and he wouldn't believe me that it was "Bungalow Bill" until I proved it to him. He was devastated!

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Joni
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by Joni » Wed Jan 13, 2021 1:32 pm
Chocolat wrote: ↑Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:14 am
Joni, good one!
Thanks Chocolat!

I'm just happy to contribute from time to time.
