INSPIRATION ~ Wednesday, July 29

Depp-inspired quotes and words of encouragement
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Chocolat
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INSPIRATION ~ Wednesday, July 29

Unread post by Chocolat » Wed Jul 29, 2020 12:20 am

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A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked,
“Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked,
“Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you ll be jailed for contempt!”


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Happy Wednesday! :hello:

~ MAGICK HAPPENS ~
Through the years, for the many xoxo's, giggles & kindness...
thank you & love you Johnny.

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mytreasure
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INSPIRATION ~ Wednesday, July 29

Unread post by mytreasure » Wed Jul 29, 2020 10:22 am


Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."




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*Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.*
~Dearest Captain Jack, May your compass always lead you back to us...~

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Bermuda
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INSPIRATION ~ Wednesday, July 29

Unread post by Bermuda » Wed Jul 29, 2020 10:50 am

I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. "This is where the judge sits, " I began, pointing to the bench. "The lawyers sit at these tables. The court clerk sits over there. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. As you can see, "I finished, "there are a lot of people involved in making this system work."

At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, "Yeah, but I'm the one who makes it all happen."

:dillingerhat: :biggrin:
"Shared laughter is love made audible."
~ Izzy Gesell ~

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Chocolat
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INSPIRATION ~ Wednesday, July 29

Unread post by Chocolat » Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:41 pm

:harhar: Thanks for the funnies ladies! :goodvibes:
~ MAGICK HAPPENS ~
Through the years, for the many xoxo's, giggles & kindness...
thank you & love you Johnny.