By Nick Krewen Music
Sun., July 10, 2016
Johnny Depp may have a decision to make.
Sure, to this point, the Kentucky-born thespian has been sailing somewhat comfortably along with this acting thing for the better part of his 53 years, amassing a cool collective box office of $8.8 billion (U.S.) through the 60 or so films he’s been involved with as either the lead or part of an ensemble, according to website thenumbers.com.
But there have been grumblings that the irresistibly handsome Depp’s cinematic mojo may be warning, as the majority of the movies he’s made since 2013 — Alice Through the Looking Glass, Black Mass, Mortdecai, Into The Woods, Transcendence and The Lone Ranger — have only added $950 million to Hollywood studio coffers (that scream you hear in the background is from Hollywood community wishing they could be such numerical disappointments.)
In comparison, Depp’s four turns (thus far) as Captain Jack Sparrow of the popular Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has netted Disney an insane $3.71 billion, with another sequel — Dead Men Tell No Tales — due in 2017. So you can clearly see that the three-time Academy Award nominee is hurting big time (yes, you can roll your eyes here.)
But never fear: our hero may have found a new calling. Forget about Johnny Depp, movie star; let me introduce you to Johnny Depp: rock star!
A crowd of 5,000-plus made this initial acquaintance Friday night at Casino Rama, as Depp was part of a seven-piece rock n’ roll kibbutz known as The Hollywood Vampires, one that he co-founded with the iconic Alice Cooper and that includes the legendary Aerosmith axe man Joe Perry, ex-Stone Temple Pilots bass player Robert DeLeo and former Guns N’ Roses drummer Matt Sorum in its ranks.
If the actor is looking for a new line of work, the reception was encouraging.
From the moment the smiling Depp stepped onstage, strumming the strings of his grey electric guitar, he oozed a powerful pheromone-fueled charisma that rendered women oblivious of their male companions. Waving at different audience members, he looked them in the eye, mouthing the words “hello” or “thank you,” and watched them turn into putty. He blew a kiss to one young Asian woman standing a few rows in front of me, and her reaction was so frenzied that she became an immediate candidate for spontaneous combustion, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend.
This reaction also came at the expense of fellow superstars Cooper and Perry.
Whenever Cooper sang, the decked-out young-and-not-so-young women kept their cellphone cameras focused squarely on Depp. Whenever Perry shredded his guitar for one of his many gritty solos, where were those cameras aimed?
At the dreamboat, of course.
Whether Depp could competently play the instrument seemed irrelevant: he could have stood in front of the audience with his arms folded for the entire show and received the same reaction. And honestly, except for the intro to the Cooper hit “School’s Out,” and a few other spots, you really couldn’t determine his instrument proficiency: The Vampires’ axe arsenal consisted of four guitars, with the amps turned up to “11” to purposefully avoid any hint of nuance. With multi-instrumentalist Bruce Witkin often shadowing Depp’s parts on his guitar, the actor’s output was either covered, diluted or enhanced.
As for how Depp fits into the whole Hollywood Vampires shtick, well, it’s actually a Cooper concept: it’s either a tribute to, or a lampooning of, the alcoholic party animals ol’ Black Eyes hung around with in Tinseltown during the ‘70s.
The coterie of now-dead celebrities that incessantly lubricated themselves with Cooper in various watering holes include John Lennon, Harry Nilsson, Keith Moon, and the not-so-dead Ringo Starr and the Monkees’ Micky Dolenz, and the whole Vampires philosophy is best summarized by the original song “My Dead Drunk Friends,” whose chorus — one of the show’s most macabre and humourous moments — goes something like this: “We drink and we fight and we puke and we fight and we drink and we fight and we puke.”
So the Vampires cover songs by such victims of excess as Jimi Hendrix (“Manic Depression”), Jim Morrison (“Break On Through”), John Bonham (Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love”) as well as “Ace of Spades” by Motorhead (Lemmy Kilmister), “Rebel Rebel” by David Bowie and “20th Century Boy,” by Marc “T. Rex” Bolan.
Cooper carried on this narrative for the entire concert, not letting facts get in the way of what he considered to be a good story, since the most of the above mentioned musicians passed away from drug overdoses, cancer (Bowie and Kilmister), car accident (Bolan) or assassination (Lennon.)
The whole bizarre event could have been scripted by Tim Burton, and perhaps that angle is what Depp found so appealing. He’s starred as off-centre characters in many Burton films, so this dark satire of Cooper’s might be right down his alley. I’m also thinking that Johnny Depp found the instant gratification factor of live rock music also appetizing: after all, the crowds don’t show up to the movies until they’re finished, usually a year or two after the cameras have stopped rolling.
With music, you’re front and centre and the applause is as instantaneous as it is intoxicating.
Finally, if you’re wondering what Depp is like in person, I’m afraid I have no experience, since I’ve never met or talked to him. But one woman, Eve Fischer, was one of approximately 15 people lucky enough to snag a pre-show meeting with Depp, Cooper and Perry. Even luckier, she managed to avoid paying the estimated $1500 most others were charged for the early meet-and-greet.
So Eve, what was he like?
“I think I spoke to him for four seconds,” Fischer, who had her photo snapped with the trio, recalled in a post-show interview. “I thought he was extremely nice and down-to-earth, genuine and humble.”
He also asked for her crocheted burgundy scarf, and was surprised when she gave it to him. Depp wore it on stage and pointed to it when he spotted Fischer sitting in the front row, and went to extraordinary lengths to ensure she got one of the guitar picks he showered the audience with post-encore.
“He threw three picks at me and none of them came to me. Finally, he said something to the security guy (standing in front of the stage) like ‘just give it to that woman,’” said Fischer. “It was kind of cool; I have to say.”
There you have it, Johnny: your nice guy cool can easily win over rock audiences.
So if you do decide to make more of a go of it in the music world, it will be less of a gamble and more of a sure bet, unlike those patrons who were sitting at the Casino Rama slots only a few hundred metres away from your stage, longing and fantasizing for their life-changing moment.
Johnny, you already live the fantasy, so roll the dice.
I expected it to be in the nose-bleed section or far off to the side. But, I was about 50 yards from the stage, but center, so my view was great!! 
He was clearly having a good time and I could tell that his heart was into it.
I am just feeling warm all over. This is so good for him given the difficulties he is experiencing! 
