Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

by Garry Kilworth

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Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby Liz » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:51 am

Pg. 301:

But as the days progressed he began to seriously consider whether this attic life was for him. Even though it was a thousand times better than being completely on his own, he grew bored. He was not content within himself.

Can we ever be completely content in our own company?
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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby ladylinn » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:06 am

Being in just your own company can bring one of two situations - you become completely self absorbed or extremely lonely. Speaking for myself - I enjoy my "alone time" (spent with a good book or a lot of time on the zone) but I could not have a happy or complete life without others or the challenges that daily life presents.
Alex realized that as he grew in self-confidence he still needed his family.

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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby trygirl » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:39 am

I always go back to an old favorite, "no man is an island entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main," in this case a family. A life of isolation is no way to live. Being in your own company sometimes is one thing, being devoid of human contact entirely is another. Everyone loves some me time, to just be with yourself and it's proof of growth to be able to spend time alone. But Alex soon realizes that he can be his own person while still being a part of the whole. You just coexist.
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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby fansmom » Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:11 pm

Liz wrote: Pg. 301: Can we ever be completely content in our own company?
Does "in our own company" exclude contact with others? How about contacting others via the written word? Radio? Telephone? Email?

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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby Liz » Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:46 pm

fansmom wrote:
Liz wrote: Pg. 301: Can we ever be completely content in our own company?
Does "in our own company" exclude contact with others? How about contacting others via the written word? Radio? Telephone? Email?

That's a good question, fansmom. I would say that all of those things count....to a degree. When I first started this book club, almost 6 years ago now, a friend told me that she thought the reason I did it was that I wanted more social interaction than I currently had. I disagreed at the time because I thought I did have enough. But looking back now, I think she might have been correct. Or maybe I was just looking for people more like myself. The internet can do that for you. On the other hand, I think it can also serve to isolate you from others if your focus becomes more and more on cyberinteractions. If this was the only way that we could interact with people, I don't think it would be enough.....at least not for me. I don't think anything can replace "in person" interactions. The internet, letters and phone can enhance it, but not replace it.
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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby fansmom » Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:43 pm

Liz wrote:I don't think anything can replace "in person" interactions. The internet, letters and phone can enhance it, but not replace it.
Why do I have a sudden mental image of Bridget Jones drunkenly singing "All By Myself"?

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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby gemini » Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:26 pm

fansmom wrote:
Liz wrote: Pg. 301: Can we ever be completely content in our own company?
Does "in our own company" exclude contact with others? How about contacting others via the written word? Radio? Telephone? Email?


I do have to agree here with you fansmom. In this era it is hard to truly be alone. With telephones,computers, books and TV there is always human input coming at you when you think you are alone.

I would even have to argue the point of what is alone? I have a house that is a menagerie and am never alone even when I have no friends or relatives present. As I've mentioned I am someone who really needs some alone time (but never truly has any unless we are only speaking of people). Never the less, I have to agree with those of you who said that my life would not be complete without human companionship.

I live alone and like the independence of it and treasure my alone time because I have one of those houses where friends and relatives feel free to drop in anytime. I wouldn't change it, but it's nice when I finally get back to peace and quiet.

Like Alex, the lives of the board combers and bortrekkers would appeal to me but in the end I would want to go home.
Last edited by gemini on Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby Liz » Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:03 pm

I think that we can be alone by just turning off the TV, radio and computer. I treasure my alone time--when the kids & the DH are out of the house….even if I have the radio, TV or internet on, I still feel alone. I feel fortunate that I can work out of my house instead of going into an office. If I had to go into an office to work every day, I’d never have any alone time unless I walked off into the forest somewhere. And sometimes, we just need that space.

Fansmom, I’m afraid I didn’t get your Bridget Jones reference because I can’t remember much about the movie(s). So I (big surprise) Googled it. So for those who CRAFT like me…..

[youtube]0D0zfB1l1x0[/youtube]

I did really like Renee in that movie….the first one.
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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby fansmom » Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:51 pm

Liz wrote:If I had to go into an office to work every day, I’d never have any alone time unless I walked off into the forest somewhere. And sometimes, we just need that space.

I used to threaten to go live in the treehouse in the back yard. :lol:
And yes, that's the bit of Bridget that I meant. Still made me smile to see it.

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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby deppaura » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:51 pm

A lot of current commentary and surveys seem to indicate that "aloneness" is a condition of American society today. Wish I could refer to something recent, but, it's like an American Malady. People somehow feel isolated and lonely. I think people vary in their individual "need" for others, different degrees of independence. But, I agree that complete isolation cannot be mentally healthy. I think different stages of your life somehow affect your people contact, and, maybe events in your life as you move along the road.

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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby Liz » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:52 pm

fansmom wrote:
Liz wrote:If I had to go into an office to work every day, I’d never have any alone time unless I walked off into the forest somewhere. And sometimes, we just need that space.

I used to threaten to go live in the treehouse in the back yard. :lol:
And yes, that's the bit of Bridget that I meant. Still made me smile to see it.

That was obviously from the 2nd movie? I feel sorry for DH. I think that's why he goes outside to work in the yard.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story.

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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby Liz » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:54 pm

deppaura wrote:A lot of current commentary and surveys seem to indicate that "aloneness" is a condition of American society today. Wish I could refer to something recent, but, it's like an American Malady. People somehow feel isolated and lonely. I think people vary in their individual "need" for others, different degrees of independence. But, I agree that complete isolation cannot be mentally healthy. I think different stages of your life somehow affect your people contact, and, maybe events in your life as you move along the road.

I totally agree about the stages in life. I had much more contact with people when my kids were in elementary school because of all the playdates and the volunteerism.
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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby DeppInTheHeartOfTexas » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:06 pm

Maybe as we get older we get more comfortable in our own skin. Growing up as an only child I learned to like my alone time but I think it also created a need to be a very social person and like to have contact with friends and family because I didn't have it...the grass is always greener.
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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby Liz » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:20 pm

DeppInTheHeartOfTexas wrote:Maybe as we get older we get more comfortable in our own skin. Growing up as an only child I learned to like my alone time but I think it also created a need to be a very social person and like to have contact with friends and family because I didn't have it...the grass is always greener.

I’m sure that being an only child did a number on me. I think I need people and acceptance because of that. But I also think I may need more alone time than most people because I got so used to it. As an only child my parents were very protective, just like suec was talking about this morning in the other thread. I was pretty isolated until I was about 10.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

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Re: Attica Question #15 ~ People Who Need People

Unread postby suec » Wed Sep 23, 2009 10:02 am

I agree that people differ in how much they need to be with others and also depending on stages in their lives. I live alone, have done so for many years, and am very happy. I chose this because I need a lot of personal space and solitude on a daily basis. I believe I was born this way but also am used to it too. I couldn't contemplate living with someone else. But it's balanced by going out to work and seeing friends and family. I wouldn't like it at all without that.
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