WEGG Question #24 - Good-byes are Important

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WEGG Question #24 - Good-byes are Important

Unread postby Liz » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:07 am

On pg. 152 Becky and Gilbert are at Gilbert’s old school and Becky tells Gilbert,
“Good-byes are important. You’ve got to learn to say good-bye.”


What do you think of Becky’s words?

What does Gilbert’s response to the burning of the school show about Gilbert?
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Unread postby inspired » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:28 am

Good byes are important because they give closure to certain situations. They mark not only the end of one thing but the beginning of something new.

I think Gilbert is a very sensitive, sentimental person who doesn't deal with change well and that is why he didn't welcomed the school's destruction but instead felt the need to keep going back to the site. He felt the same way with Mrs. Carver, going over to her house 'one more time'. I think these traits make it hard for Gilbert to let go and move on in his life. Hanging on to the known, no matter how painful, can sometimes seem easier than facing the unknown. What Gilbert needs to realize, and perhaps does by the end of the book, is that by letting go of something your arms are free to grab hold of something else.

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Unread postby Liz » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:33 am

I like the way you put that, Inspired. :cool: Thanks for starting us off. And this goes along with his resistance to fast food chains and supermarkets.
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Unread postby Gilbert's Girl » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:45 am

Agree wtih inspired, can't add more :cool:

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Unread postby Endora » Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:25 pm

This need for the familiar things and structures is so important to Gilbert. They're a sign that although he's twenty four, he hasn't grown up emotionally. He clings to them to provide the scaffolding that stops his life falling apart. It's interesting to think of his conversations with Arnie about the difference between good bye and good night here. It seems to me that Gilbert was just as bad as Arnie, possibly worse, at really coping with good bye.
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Unread postby Liz » Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:30 pm

Endora wrote: It's interesting to think of his conversations with Arnie about the difference between good bye and good night here. It seems to me that Gilbert was just as bad as Arnie, possibly worse, at really coping with good bye.


Good catch, Endora! This could also relate back to his dad not saying good bye. :cool:
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Unread postby mamabear » Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:02 pm

inspired wrote:Good byes are important because they give closure to certain situations. They mark not only the end of one thing but the beginning of something new.

I think Gilbert is a very sensitive, sentimental person who doesn't deal with change well and that is why he didn't welcomed the school's destruction but instead felt the need to keep going back to the site. He felt the same way with Mrs. Carver, going over to her house 'one more time'. I think these traits make it hard for Gilbert to let go and move on in his life. Hanging on to the known, no matter how painful, can sometimes seem easier than facing the unknown. What Gilbert needs to realize, and perhaps does by the end of the book, is that by letting go of something your arms are free to grab hold of something else.


WOW, inspired, profound and IMHO right on the money. This bit especially struck a chord with me today:
by letting go of something your arms are free to grab hold of something else.

Edit:
Couldn't resist incorporating your wisdom into a Gilbert wallpaper (1024x768):
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d76/mamabear1/WEGG/Lettinggowp.jpg
Last edited by mamabear on Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby SamIam » Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:19 pm

Wow, inspired, you totally hit the nail on the head. :cool:

I agree that saying goodbye is important because it gives closure and somehow forgiveness as well. Gilbert didn't deal well with change so he had to revisit everyone who was leaving so he could give closure to that part of his life with Mrs. Carver and even Becky. The burning of the school is a symbol as it sort of cleansing Gilbert. It isn't there to remind him of what happened so he has to move on from his past. He goes to say goodbye to the school because he needs to move on from that part of his life so he won't feel so angry towards everything that happened to him in that school.

As a psych major, saying goodbye can clear your conscious and bring whatever is in your subconscious out so you can confront it and not dwell on it anywhere because it is not healthy to do so.
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Unread postby DeppInTheHeartOfTexas » Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:35 pm

Hi,mamabear and welcome to ONBC. :welcome: Beautfiul wallpaper! :cloud9:

inspried I like the way you explain that too. Endora, I also like what you wrote:

He clings to them to provide the scaffolding that stops his life falling apart.


We're on a roll today! :-)
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Unread postby Liz » Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:44 pm

mamabear wrote:
inspired wrote:Good byes are important because they give closure to certain situations. They mark not only the end of one thing but the beginning of something new.

I think Gilbert is a very sensitive, sentimental person who doesn't deal with change well and that is why he didn't welcomed the school's destruction but instead felt the need to keep going back to the site. He felt the same way with Mrs. Carver, going over to her house 'one more time'. I think these traits make it hard for Gilbert to let go and move on in his life. Hanging on to the known, no matter how painful, can sometimes seem easier than facing the unknown. What Gilbert needs to realize, and perhaps does by the end of the book, is that by letting go of something your arms are free to grab hold of something else.


WOW, inspired, profound and IMHO right on the money. This bit especially struck a chord with me today:
by letting go of something your arms are free to grab hold of something else.

Edit:
Couldn't resist incorporating your wisdom into a Gilbert wallpaper (1024x768):
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d76/mamabear1/WEGG/Lettinggowp.jpg


Inspirational words from Inspired and beautiful wallpaper from Mamabear. :cloud9: Thank you, Mamabear, for bringing those words to life and :welcome: to the discussion.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story.

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Unread postby rainbowsoul » Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:10 pm

PS I agree with the answers that have already been posted here, but wanted to add a thought.

In saying his goodbyes, and by Becky encouraging him to do so, Gilbert was also giving himself permission to get on with saying goodbye to Endora and moving on with his life away from his family, his job, his home and all that he knows. The "Big" goodbye.

No! Not Barker. That man is dead. It's Todd, now. Sweeney Todd. And he shall have his revenge...

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Unread postby DeppInTheHeartOfTexas » Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:19 pm

Very true, rainbowsoul. That was something he needed a push towards.
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Unread postby nebraska » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:15 pm

I get a daily message in my email from the "Daily Ohm". There was recently a message about saying goodbye to old homes, about walking through one last time to say good bye in each room.......the theory is that this is closure for you, allowing you to go into new space without old baggage, and that for the next family inhabiting that space, you have removed the ghosts and other unpleasant energy presences for the next people. The cleansing of space if kind of a universal primal drive, if you look into various religions and lifestyles .......interesting stuff here.

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Unread postby DeppInTheHeartOfTexas » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:36 pm

nebraska, that is something I have always done when we move. It is a great way to get closure, especially if you aren't really ready for the change. It's a way of holding on and letting go at the same time.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -

Wow! What a ride!

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Unread postby inspired » Thu Apr 26, 2007 1:45 am

mamabear wrote:
inspired wrote:Good byes are important because they give closure to certain situations. They mark not only the end of one thing but the beginning of something new.

I think Gilbert is a very sensitive, sentimental person who doesn't deal with change well and that is why he didn't welcomed the school's destruction but instead felt the need to keep going back to the site. He felt the same way with Mrs. Carver, going over to her house 'one more time'. I think these traits make it hard for Gilbert to let go and move on in his life. Hanging on to the known, no matter how painful, can sometimes seem easier than facing the unknown. What Gilbert needs to realize, and perhaps does by the end of the book, is that by letting go of something your arms are free to grab hold of something else.


WOW, inspired, profound and IMHO right on the money. This bit especially struck a chord with me today:
by letting go of something your arms are free to grab hold of something else.

Edit:
Couldn't resist incorporating your wisdom into a Gilbert wallpaper (1024x768):
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d76/mamabear1/WEGG/Lettinggowp.jpg

Thanks for the kind words mamabear, and the beautiful wallpaper. :blush: :blush:


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