Happy Days Question #16 ~ The meaning of life?

by Laurent Graff

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nebraska
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Re: Happy Days Question #16 ~ The meaning of life?

Unread postby nebraska » Tue Dec 19, 2006 10:30 pm

Lady Jill wrote:If Antoine is looking for the meaning of life why is he choosing to find it through studying death? Do you feel Antoine ever found the meaning of death?



Nebraska, turning 60 is a big milestone! But you have to get over it fast keep on keeping on. No, we can't usually keep on doing what we want to, so you develop others things, do things different ways. It IS worth a thought or two to concider and accept.


Lady Jill

P. S. I'm 62. :bounce:


thanks for that!!!!!! helps me to know I am not alone. 60 really is not all that ancient, I know, but it is really creating a crisis for me...will be glad when the birthday is over and I discover I am still 'me'.

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Re: Happy Days Question #16 ~ The meaning of life?

Unread postby Liz » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:11 pm

nebraska wrote: thanks for that!!!!!! helps me to know I am not alone. 60 really is not all that ancient, I know, but it is really creating a crisis for me...will be glad when the birthday is over and I discover I am still 'me'.


Don't you remember feeling that way at 50...and at 40.....and at 30....? The worst for me was 50. And I'm here to say that 50 is better than 40, 30, 20 or 10.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story.

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Re: Happy Days Question #16 ~ The meaning of life?

Unread postby nebraska » Wed Dec 20, 2006 5:36 pm

Liz wrote:
nebraska wrote: thanks for that!!!!!! helps me to know I am not alone. 60 really is not all that ancient, I know, but it is really creating a crisis for me...will be glad when the birthday is over and I discover I am still 'me'.


Don't you remember feeling that way at 50...and at 40.....and at 30....? The worst for me was 50. And I'm here to say that 50 is better than 40, 30, 20 or 10.



Truthfully, no...... :blush: 28 was the year I thought life was over, I was depressed for a month......not sure why 28.......but this year, with oldest son approaching 40, 40th wedding anniversary, and turning the big 6-0 it all seems to be crashing in around me. I guess I feel at 60 my choices become more limited.....for things like building a new career, for instance, or getting physically strong enough to climb to the top of Bear Butte. As was pointed out earlier, there are new things to focus on, different experiences in my future, I just need to accept the change and challenge and enjoy the next phase.....The residents of Happy Days really struck a chord with me.

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Unread postby Parlez » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:34 pm

Well, old age is not for sissies, to cite Dr. Seuss.
And we Boomers are the ones who STARTED the youth-obsession we are now living with in society...
remember: "Don't trust anyone over 30"?? yikes!
It's helpful to note that almost everyone who takes a tour of a retirement or elder care facility
as a prospective resident says, "But, everyone here is so OLD!"
May our own self-perceptions likewise stay Forever Young!
:disco:
"Belay that! ...Do something else!" ~ Hector Barbossa
savvy avi by mamabear

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Unread postby DeppInTheHeartOfTexas » Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:18 pm

nebraska, when I was 20 I wasn't fearful of my thirties or 40's, in fact I looked forward to them. I thought 50 would be the one to do me in mentally. I couldn't have been more wrong! I'm hoping that experience will carry me through the rest of my decades. While someone who is older can't do what they could in their 20's or 30's, there is still a lot of life to be explored and treasured!

Parlez, that is exactly what my mom says about retirement places. Why would I want to be around all those old people???
:eyebrow:
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -
Wow! What a ride!

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Unread postby suec » Fri Dec 22, 2006 6:05 am

Interesting discussion folks! I don't have much to add. I went through a crisis turning 30 and another one at 40. They were great for me. Both times I had such a huge shake-up that I got my act together and overhauled my life. Strangely, I 'm not worried about 50 - probably because it is still several years away. Give me 2 years and I'll be there! But friends who are already in their 50s are loving it. They tell me it is finally the age when they stop worrying what people think.

Nebraska, in the UK there is legislation coming in - perhaps it is here already, come to think - which bans age discrimination. It won't stop folks thinking it, but they won't be able to say it out loud. It's a shame it is necessary, but at least it's a step in the right direction.

To answer the question: well, I don't know. I keep changing my mind. But how can he have found the meaning of death when he hasn't felt its bite yet? He comes closest with Mireille: "placed in the balance against death, and |I tip the scales irresistably in life's favor". But this is still an observer's response, an objective one.

This is what I want to say to him. Try being with the man who is dealing with losing the woman he has loved for 50 years. All he wants to do is be with her now. Ah! And now, at last, he understands the comfort of belief in the afterlife. He wants to tell her, hang on love, I'm coming along soon. But he can't, because he doesn't believe there is anything afterwards. Antoine should take a look at that man. Or even better, be him.

This is what else I want to say to him. Try being the woman who left her husband when her kids were tiny, because he used to beat her up. And now her children are grown and married and they haven't seen their father since. And now he dies. They go to the funeral and meet a half-brother they never knew they had, whom they embrace as a brother. And their dad kept their photos always in his wallet. And their mother's bitterness and anger is gone, in a snap of the fingers. Because death changes all. Oh, the what ifs, the if onlys, the could haves, the should haves.

Or be the son at his dad's funeral, in floods of tears, but taking comfort from his religious faith, and from looking at a photo of his dad happy and relaxed, and saying, there was a life well-lived!

Antoine needs to get his hands dirty. He needs to stop thinking and start feeling. Start loving someone up close and personal for a life time. Start thinking about who he might really grieve for when they've gone, and who will grieve for him.

Guess I just climbed down off the fence there. Now I just need to get off my :soapbox:
"Luck... inspiration... both only really happen to you when you empty your heart of ambition, purpose, and plan; when you give yourself, completely, to the golden, fate-filled moment."

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Unread postby Liz » Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:20 pm

Suec, I'm glad you climbed down off of your fence. You've just expressed the way I have felt about Antoine. But you said it with more eloquence and passion than I would have. Thanks for that. :bouquet:
You can't judge a book by its cover.

The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story.

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Unread postby DeppInTheHeartOfTexas » Fri Dec 22, 2006 2:12 pm

suec, you have such a beautiful and powerful way with the written word. In the end that is what we all should hope for, to love and to have been loved.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -

Wow! What a ride!


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