FI quote pp. 400, 401

by Tom Robbins

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axelsgirl
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FI quote pp. 400, 401

Unread postby axelsgirl » Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:24 pm

Being a woman who can't bear children, I found this passage especially perceptive. I found my spirit baby and she is now 14 and the love of my life!
" Now and again, one could detect in a childless woman of a certain age the various characteristics of all the children she had never issued. Her body was haunted by the ghosts of souls who hadn't lived yet. Premature ghosts.........
They shone in her sighs. Often to her chagrin, they would soften the voice she used in the marketplace. When she spilled wine, it was their playful antics that jostled the glass. They called out her name in the bath or when she passed real children in the street. The spirit babies were everywhere her companions, and everywhere left her lonesome - yet they no more bore her resentment than a seed resents the uneaten fruit. Like pet gnats, like a phosphorescence, like sighs on a string, they would follow her into eternity."
I just found this very touching especially coming from someone like Switters, he was thinking of Domino , but wouldn't ask her about it because she would think of his potential as a father and men such as him didn't breed in captivity.
My question is : Do you think men ever have this powerful yearning feeling that he described, or just some women?
"Yeah, well, let's keep on truckin'!"

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Unread postby Liz » Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:46 pm

Interesting question, Axel's Girl. I too cannot bear children. However, I have 2 wonderful adopted children. From my own personal experience, I think it is all individual. I was told by a psychologist when I was in the midst of adopting my first that I would shortly have these feelings of loss at never having had my own children and that could effect how I felt about my adopted child. Well, 15 years later, I'm still waiting for those feelings of loss. Didn't happen. I'm totally satisfied with my precious kiddies, feeling no need for biological children. Everyone handles these things differently. As for my hubby, as far as I know, he has no longings for his own; but then he probably wouldn't tell me if he did. That would be too cruel. I do think men feel a need to perpetuate their name. How strong that is, would also be an individual thing.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story.

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axelsgirl
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Unread postby axelsgirl » Sat Feb 05, 2005 1:22 am

I agree Liz, when we adopted our daughter, I didn't feel any loss because I couldn't bear a child. It just didn't happen. I always felt that she was supposed to be ours and all the stuff we went through to adopt her was just meant to be. My DH was always supportive through it all, but I don't think he had the same level of yearning that I did. But after she came he was always holding her, just couldn't get enough.
I guess Switters just wasn't cut out to be a Dad. :-/
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Unread postby Liz » Sat Feb 05, 2005 2:52 am

axelsgirl wrote:I agree Liz, when we adopted our daughter, I didn't feel any loss because I couldn't bear a child. It just didn't happen. I always felt that she was supposed to be ours and all the stuff we went through to adopt her was just meant to be. My DH was always supportive through it all, but I don't think he had the same level of yearning that I did. But after she came he was always holding her, just couldn't get enough.
I guess Switters just wasn't cut out to be a Dad. :-/


But as you've learned, men don't always know until they get there. Johnny didn't get it until he got there. I didn't totally get it until I got there. Maybe TR will bring Switters back into another story where he'll get it.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story.

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DeppInTheHeartOfTexas
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Unread postby DeppInTheHeartOfTexas » Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:26 am

I don't know if men have that same longing to the extent that some women do but I think they do feel the urge to be "dad" maybe sometimes not until it actually happens as you all have said. As someone who has biological children, I still wonder what others would be like if I had them. I also have many friends who have adopted children and listening to their stories I sometimes think the adoption process is just as stressful and demanding as pregnancy and labor!
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -
Wow! What a ride!

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Unread postby suec » Sun Feb 06, 2005 7:39 am

I don't have any children. I can't say that I have any real longing to, either. There was once, when the time and the man were right. However, it didn't happen. But there are moments when I stop and think, what if? Mainly, they happen when I look at my nephew. He was the spitting image of me as a baby when he was born and he still resembles me more than either of his parents. I get these glimpses of what a child of mine might have been like. So, that passage strikes a chord.

I do think that some men have that real yearning to be fathers.
"Luck... inspiration... both only really happen to you when you empty your heart of ambition, purpose, and plan; when you give yourself, completely, to the golden, fate-filled moment."


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