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Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:05 am
by Liz
From Pg. 157: Robert and I still kept our vow. Neither would leave the other. I never saw him through the lens of his sexuality. My picture of him remained intact. He was the artist of my life.

What do you think of their relationship? What was it? Can you even define it?

Re: Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:13 am
by Gilbert's Girl
To me it seemed their relationship was almost childlike , it seemed they had more adult serious relationships with the other people in their lives.. Not sure if that makes sense but there seemed sort of an innocence to their love. Not sure I can explain that any better. Its just how it struck me.

Re: Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:01 am
by RamblinRebel
Not to sound trite, but I think theirs is the ultimate meeting of mind and spirit, if not body. Patti was very careful to never use the term “soulmate”…. But if ever there was a case for it, this might be it.

So what is their relationship?

It’s the unwavering belief in the talent and possibility of the other person. Each encourages, pushes, challenges the other, and in doing so, helps the other to achieve new heights. Each believes wholly in the other’s work, and their ability. Not that they see the other as infallible, but rather they see the ultimate potential of the other. One believes, conveys to, and convinces the other that they can achieve anything they put their mind to. And that belief is 100% honest.

It’s the deepest respect for the other, in all manners. Always considering the other’s view, and the other’s needs. Not only being considerate of, but actually considering. Pondering their views and needs, discussing, giving feedback.

Nobody sees as we do”. I can’t define their relationship without coming back to this line. I didn’t respond yesterday, but I’m in complete concurrence with Buster on this one. Yup, she nailed it! I’m going to pull part of her post over here and add my thoughts regarding their relationship…

Buster wrote:I think this is what actually lies at the heart of the book - that Patti and Robert had a connection, a closeness, that made their love for each other inevitable. It is the reason for the book - to try and explain the basically inexplicable: the magic that happens when two complimentary/congruent minds meet.
They were both on the same mission, to make sense of the world through artistic expression. They "got" each other's artistic vocabulary - the icons, the mysticism, the classical feel - and recognised their own shared rock and roll urges.
...
Patti's reaction,
Whenever he said things like that, for a magical space of time, it was (as) if we were the only two people in the world.
was acknowledging that shared universe - a place where she was understood - no longer an "outsider".
Two people, similar in mind and spirit, finding their own inner peace and inner joy, outside the boundaries of society, through each other. It not only represents their full acceptance of, but actually celebrates the fact that they are different, and that very, very few people are going to understand them or see things the way they see them. When you spend your entire life under the belief that you are wholly unique, abnormal, unable to fit inside the molds that society has created for you… and then you find some else who sees things as you see them, who thinks, by and large, as you think, who is as unique and abnormal as you… it is phenomenally uplifting. It can bring to an end a sometimes painful isolation. But much more than that, it gives strength, it gives life, it exudes joy, and it allows love and creativity to flow.

I think the first time that line appeared was page 80, after Robert and Patti spent time apart and Robert had his first male affair in San Francisco:
“Yet if he was gratified in one sense, he seemed uninspired, if not bored, and perhaps couldn’t help drawing comparisons between the atmosphere of their life to ours.”

“Patti, nobody sees as we do,” he told me.

Sexually Robert needed someone else, but in all other respects, he needed Patti. There's something very magical that happens when mind and spirit meet that far transcends the physical. They shared a love in the deepest sense of the word.

(Side note: Yeah, that "no one sees as we do" line went straight to my heart and brought tears to my eyes for very personal reasons – someone once, long ago, said much the same thing to me :love:. When you asked what passages resonated with us, well, I guess I fell into "the whole darn book" category, but that line especially just killed me. ...Ironically, I'm probably not alone in that thought.)

Re: Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:27 am
by Gilbert's Girl
Nice thoughts RR :ok:

Re: Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:06 pm
by Liz
Gilbert's Girl wrote:Nice thoughts RR :ok:


Perfect! :twohearts:

Re: Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:21 pm
by Liz
RamblinRebel wrote:When you spend your entire life under the belief that you are wholly unique, abnormal, unable to fit inside the molds that society has created for you… and then you find some else who sees things as you see them, who thinks, by and large, as you think, who is as unique and abnormal as you… it is phenomenally uplifting. It can bring to an end a sometimes painful isolation. But much more than that, it gives strength, it gives life, it exudes joy, and it allows love and creativity to flow.

YES! And so hard to let go of.

RamblinRebel wrote:Sexually Robert needed someone else, but in all other respects, he needed Patti. There's something very magical that happens when mind and spirit meet that far transcends the physical. They shared a love in the deepest sense of the word.

This is the part I can't seem to get my head around. But it just goes to show how complicated we all are as individuals. And I applaud the both of them that they didn't let jealousy get in the way of what they had - that they could put all of that aside and accept that they had this special relationship that would last forever, no matter what.

RamblinRebel wrote:Not to sound trite, but I think theirs is the ultimate meeting of mind and spirit, if not body. Patti was very careful to never use the term “soulmate”…. But if ever there was a case for it, this might be it.

Well, that's what I kept saying all throughout the book - that they were soulmates. It was as simple and as complicated as that.

And I did note that she never used the term. I'm guessing that was out of respect for Fred.

Re: Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:54 pm
by fireflydances
I think their relationship evolved over time. It started out fairly traditional -- boyfriend/girlfriend. Then eventually art and a common struggle for recognition became what they defined as the center of their relationship and both naturally looked for sexual partners outside the friendship.

I don't think they experienced a great deal of jealousy because their focus wasn't tied to traditional roles. I agree with GG about the child-like quality they shared. Not immature but wide open without boundaries as we were as children when we accepted our best friend completely with no imposition of "you should" or "we must." Instead, they allowed each other a tremendous amount of freedom to explore as individuals which is a powerful gift to another person. And a hard one to grant.

Imagine having a friend that you can count on to encourage your explorations even at your most anxious moments. What a gift.

Re: Just Kids Question #17C - Their relationship - what was it?

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 9:46 pm
by Liz
fireflydances wrote:Imagine having a friend that you can count on to encourage your explorations even at your most anxious moments. What a gift.

I think that is easy to imagine. And it's quite common place in my life. What's hard to imagine is your soulmate, who you are in love with, sleeping with other people.