JOHNNY DEPP ZONE

Lift yourself out of the doldrums Make yourself a cuppa tea Drag your emotions out of the gutter Don't wallow in self pity When you wake up, all of a fluster Thinking life has passed you by Give yourself a kick up the backside Jump out of bed and punch the sky Is there life after breakfast Full of ...

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
~Fred Allen

Your worth consists in what you are and not in what you have.
~Thomas A. Edison

My boss was honest with me today. He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year." The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to...

Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.
~Paul Tillich

Once upon a time I was falling in love Now I'm only falling apart There's nothing I can do A total eclipse of the heart Once upon a time there was light in my life But now there's only love in the dark Nothing I can say A total eclipse of the heart. ~Bonnie Tyler https://i.imgur.com/CJmBIlV.jpg htt...

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety. Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget the...

What's great about Johnny is the trust that—you know, neither of us are going to make the other one look like an ass.
~Gore Verbinski

I just burnt my Hawaiian pizza. Should have used aloha temperature. My wife left me because I'm insecure. Oh no. Wait, she's back. She went for groceries. Me and my friend are in a band called "Duvet"... We're a cover band. https://i.imgur.com/WBYb9Lm.jpg https://i.imgur.com/I4Uo21U.gif

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
~Gilbert K. Chesterton

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
~Randall Terry

Depp: Having worked with sharp objects before, everything was fine until I had to shave someone. Burton: He didn’t have trouble with the razors, he was freaked out by the shaving cream. Depp: It made me a little nervous. Burton: Am I right was that one of the hardest things to do was lather up Alan...

What do you call an unconventional Easter egg? Egg-centric. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with shellfish? An oyster bunny! Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck? Because he kept quacking the eggs! Where does the Easter Bunny eat breakfast? IHOP. https://i.imgur.com/HTHk7c4.jpg ht...

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
~Mark Twain

Take life on life's terms - one day at a time. And have fun while you're doing it.
~Joe Perry